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Life Notes: Raising Teens Along with Tomatoesby Erin Rockett, LPC, LMFT Ah, the joys of summer garden tomatoes…after careful planning, cultivation, and nurturing with a careful balance of sun, water, fertilizer, along with proper weeding, pruning, and/or staking. If the fruits of labor are plucked from the vine early, or late, results can be disastrous. After careful removal from the vine, tomatoes bruise if handled too roughly. Or worse yet, if squeezed too tightly, likely results are a tomato-splattered mess. Lessons for raising teenagers abound through the tomato garden. Vigorous, new plant growth frequently requires staking or training to produce maximum yield without crop damage. Teens emerge from preadolescence into an awkward, potentially tumultuous state, with hormones raging. Developmentally, their physical growth and desire for a mature lifestyle frequently outpace the ability for impulse control and rational thought. While struggling to find their identity and learn healthy young adult roles, they need safety and structure of responsible, empathetic parenting. Unrestricted freedom results in exposure to dangerous realities and potentially irreversible decisions. Alcohol consumption, substance abuse, and reckless behavior typically occur away from appropriate adult supervision, with potentially fatal results. Overprotected teens, like over shaded tomatoes, fail to thrive. Extreme pressure to achieve may provoke an explosion. Just as tomato plants rot from excess water or fertilizer, overindulgence results in spoiled children. And finally, as adolescent summer passes, time approaches for harvest. Most people agree that nothing surpasses the quality of a vine-ripened tomato, carefully watched and separated from the vine at the peak time for each individual fruit. Tomatoes picked while green, and artificially ripened under harsh circumstances never measure up to their full potential. Careful planning to launch young adults at their appropriate time, neither too early nor too late, is most likely to lead to healthy, responsible life choices. Life Notes: Complete List 2004 2003 The Life Notes articles are written by staff of Louisiana Methodist Children's Home and are published in The Ruston Daily Leader. | |||
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